INTIMACY IS A MIRROR

A conversation with Tommaso Barba on sex, love and psychedelics.

Sex and intimacy are inseparable from self-perception. Psychedelics can shift that perception. Tommaso Barba studies what happens when those shifts meet real-world relationships.

A neuroscientist and PhD researcher at Imperial College London’s Centre for Psychedelic Research, his work investigates how psychedelic compounds shape psychological outcomes weeks and months after an experience. From comparative clinical trials of psilocybin versus SSRIs in depression, to neuroimaging studies of short-acting substances like DMT and 5-MeO-DMT, to pioneering research on sexual functioning and relational well-being, Barba examines how changes in mood and self-perception translate into lived experience. In this conversation, we focus on one of the most human endpoints of that work: intimacy.

Let's dive in:

1. Your research focuses on what happens after a psychedelic experience, rather than during it. What drew you to that question?

Because from a well-being perspective, what ultimately matters is what carries forward. The acute experience is intense and interesting, but it’s also temporary. We were interested in whether psychedelic experiences are followed by changes that persist once people return to their everyday lives, their relationships, their routines, and how they relate to themselves and others. That post-acute period is where intimacy and sexual well-being really show up in a meaningful way.

2. When your paper talks about “sexual functioning,” what does that actually include?

We approached it as a multidimensional construct. Sexual functioning isn’t only about arousal or frequency. It includes pleasure, satisfaction with a partner, comfort with one’s body, openness to sexual experiences, and the ability to communicate desires. These dimensions tend to be closely linked to overall well-being and to how people experience intimacy over time.

3. What were the most consistent changes you observed after psychedelic experiences?

Across both naturalistic and clinical samples, participants reported positive changes several weeks after the experience. These included greater sexual satisfaction, improved communication with partners, increased comfort with their bodies, and greater openness within intimate relationships. Importantly, these were reported after the acute effects had resolved. Our findings don’t suggest psychedelics act as aphrodisiacs or directly enhance sexual functioning during the experience. Instead, they point toward psychological shifts that persist beyond it and can influence intimacy over time.

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4. Those findings suggest shifts not just in sexual behavior, but in how people experience intimacy. When those changes feel powerful or emotionally significant, how should couples understand them within a relationship?

Love is not an emotion. It’s not a feeling. It is a complex, learned, and practised action developed and driven by your day-to-day practice with yourself and your partner. Powerful altered states can foster connection and intensify intimacy, but if a relationship relies on those states without a solid foundation, it can drift into chaos or instability.

You can have great sex and intense experiences together and still be toxic to each other if the relationship depends on peaks rather than daily development. These experiences can also accelerate attachment, amplifying feelings before compatibility is clear. Intensity isn’t the same as compatibility. Love grows over time through grounded practice.

5. Communication comes up again and again in your findings. Why is it such a central piece?

Because many difficulties around sex aren’t really about desire, they’re about communication and emotional safety. If someone feels less defensive or less constrained by rigid self-judgments, it can become easier to talk openly about needs, boundaries, or vulnerabilities. Even small changes there can have a meaningful impact on relationship quality and sexual satisfaction.

6. Your study also compared psilocybin therapy with a conventional antidepressant. What stood out in that comparison?

Both treatments were associated with improvements in depressive symptoms, but their effects on sexual functioning differed. Participants who received psilocybin therapy reported greater improvements in areas like sexual pleasure, partner satisfaction, and communication. In contrast, those receiving the SSRI escitalopram showed little improvement in these domains, and in some cases reported increased sexual anxiety. That pattern is consistent with what we know about the sexual side effects often associated with SSRIs.

7. One of the subtler findings involved body image. Why does that matter in this context?

Body image plays a surprisingly central role in intimacy. Persistent self-criticism or discomfort with one’s body can make it difficult to feel present or connected during sex. Participants reported greater acceptance of their bodies following psychedelic experiences, which likely contributed to improvements in sexual comfort and satisfaction. While this is an area that needs more research, it highlights an important link between self-perception and intimacy.

8. What do you most want people to be careful about when interpreting this research?

These findings shouldn’t be taken to mean that psychedelics are a simple or universal solution for sexual or relationship difficulties. The effects we observed varied between individuals and were likely shaped by context, support, and what happens after the experience. More controlled research is needed to better understand causality, mechanisms, and long-term outcomes.

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Conclusion

Love isn’t a peak state, it’s practice.

This research doesn’t argue that psychedelics make sex better in the moment. It looks at what shows up later, once people are back in their lives and relationships.

Across both naturalistic and clinical data, changes in intimacy were linked to clearer communication, greater comfort in one’s body, and shifts in how people related to themselves and their partners. Not performance. Not intensity. Just fewer internal and relational blocks.

The takeaway isn’t that psychedelics “fix” intimacy. It’s that when self-perception and emotional openness shift, sexual wellbeing often shifts with them. That’s where this research opens a more human conversation.

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